


Heaven Is Only Heavenly With You

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, I Don't Know How But They Found Me, Panic! at the Disco, The Brobecks
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Heaven & Hell, Infidelity, M/M, Sexual Content, Smut, brallon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 19:38:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brendon Urie and Ryan Ross' plane crashed them into the loss of life. Heaven and Hell were soon to find them a place. However, the events didn't unfold how Brendon dreamed they would; as he realised, his dreamy sigh faded into a pleading cry.





	Heaven Is Only Heavenly With You

**Author's Note:**

> (This is a Brallon fic. I suggest you do not read if you are only in it for the Ryden, else you'll be disappointed!)

They lost Ryan first. Now, it was Brendon’s turn to be released into the heavens. His spirit floated up as all ties were cut; knots of tension untangled. Once the boy’s spirit and embodiment met again, a dreamy sigh escaped from his replenished lips.

 

“Brendon Urie,” said a genderless voice.

 

“That’s me.” He smiled timidly and started playing with his hands.

 

“You made it,” the voice told him.

 

“To-” he hesitated, “to heaven?” He looked up to see nothing but white cloud surrounding him.

 

“To heaven,” the voice confirmed. “Welcome.”

 

Brendon let go of his hands, fixed his posture and allowed himself to radiate with the confident glow he always exhibited while on the planet earth. “Is there anything I need to know?” he asked.

 

“Once through the gate, you shall not need anything. Should you desire for something material, you must picture it in your mind; it’ll then appear in front of you. Each individual is given one free pass to the Observation Room to catch sight of life on earth one last time. When you use your pass, is up to you. If you need to speak to me, whistle a tune and I’ll be there. Heaven is now yours, amongst the others.”

 

A gate dripping with gold appeared and laid out a path for Brendon. He gladly took it with dainty steps, meanwhile his mind was flying with thoughts of Ryan and how he’d get to spend eternity with such a beautiful man in such a beautiful place.

 

Beyond the gate revealed souls spread across the endless space. A gentle chatter danced amongst them. Brendon wondered whether, with the click of his fingers, he could make it all appear silent to him. God was supernatural, after all.

 

He peered at those surrounding him to see if anybody had acknowledged him. A tall man, blessed with brown hair and kissed with porcelain skin, gave him a small smile and looked away. Continuing through the endlessness, Brendon couldn’t seem to find Ryan amid the masses of innocence.

 

He already missed Ryan’s skinny hand holding his tight. He already missed tracing Ryan’s soft skin with his fingertips once the man was asleep. He already missed Ryan’s beautiful, heartfelt poetry, songs and stories.

 

Whistled tunes of his and Ryan’s songs slipped from his lips. He decided to call God.

 

“Hello Brendon,” God spoke.

 

“Hi, um… May I ask, where is Ryan? Ryan Ross? I died with him. Well, shortly after, and I can’t find him.”

 

“George Ryan Ross III, I assume you’re speaking of?”

 

“Yes. Where is he?”

 

“He didn’t make it to heaven.”

 

“Then why did I?” Brendon whispered, scandalized and shocked.

 

Clearly God hears everything… “You lived an honest, hard-working and decisive life. You need not mistrust the judgement of your balance of vices and virtues,” God told him.

 

“B-but… Ryan?”

 

“Ryan didn’t meet the criteria.”

 

Brendon knelt before pleading, “Please, Lord. Send me to Ryan. He’s all I’ve ever known and all I’ve ever loved. If you’re satisfied by my work I’ve put into the world, please allow me my one desire. I’ll be of no trouble.”

 

“If that is what you wish for, then by all means, your wish is granted.”

 

White faded into grey. Grey then faded into black. Brendon thought about how there’s no going back. Brendon didn’t mind, so long as his eyes were blessed by the sight of his forever love. The space around him shifted, causing him vertigo.

 

The wait was incredulously long. All the boy could do was think about Ryan. Ryan Ross really was the love of his life. After all, he’d spent the majority of his time with him. Three years weren’t for nothing. That Ryan really had a hold on him. He had him wrapped around his finger like a string and Brendon always hoped he’d never let go.

 

Brendon had so much faith in Ryan. Ryan brought to him all he ever needed: sex, company, music, drinks. Ryan drank a lot of whiskey and vodka, so whenever they kissed, that’s all Brendon could taste. If he ever felt miserable, he’d sneak into Ryan’s stash. But as he kept telling himself, he rarely was miserable. No, he barely even knew what misery was because he had Ryan…

 

The transportation finally halted and Brendon stumbled. He regained composure, pushing his quiff up with the back of his hand, and took a deep breath. Taking a look down at his body, he found that his white suit had turned red and his skin had tanned--most likely from the glazing fire that lit up on both sides of him.

 

Then spoke another voice, “Brendon. I hear you’re a fan.” The voice was accompanied by a chuckle. Judging by the lower tone, Brendon assumed it was the devil speaking and that the devil was male. Maybe his name really was Lucifer. Maybe the Christians really did have it right.

 

Brendon laughed too, more nervous than anything, but he made sure he was ambiguous enough externally. Throughout all of his experiences in life, Brendon had learnt an awful lot on communication and the best ways to it. Therefore, he went all in straight away, saying, “Look, dude. God gave me this long ass speech when I got to heaven. I’m assuming you ain’t going to put me through that again, right? I really just want my boyfriend.”

 

“Of course not! No, not at all. Just if you need anything, give me a shout and you got it. Everyone here drinks, does drugs, fucks… the whole lot. But, I’ll leave the rest for you to find out. Enjoy.”

 

And with that, the fire by his sides spread further down the path it created, until it reached a vantablack gate that you wouldn’t be so sure was there without the contrasting red smoke that was the atmosphere of hell.

 

Now to find Ryan…

 

*****

****

Blunt. Everyone in hell, Brendon came to find, was blunt. Brendon, too, was a very decisive man—even in the omniscient words of God. However, Brendon wasn’t blunt socially. Almost every time he went to ask someone if they knew of Ryan Ross, they’d give him a sharp, monotoned “no,” and return to whatever drugs or chicks and dudes they were doing.

 

He laid himself down on the burning gravel floor, head facing up. He wasn’t looking towards the sky, he realised. He was in hell. Hell’s underground. Above him was the world he left behind. Spencer, Jon, Pete, Patrick, Shane, Zack… they were all standing right above him.

 

If he and Ryan hadn’t flown to New York for the press conference, things would have been different. Had Spencer and Jon came _with_ them, things would have been different. But the thing was… they didn’t. Brendon died and was separated from his best friends. He was then placed alone in heaven and separated from the one person that mattered the most to him.

 

*****

****

“RYAN!” Brendon gasped.

 

In response, the skinny man pealed his sweaty, naked body back from the blonde beneath him.

 

Brendon really did see that. He really saw Ryan Ross, his _forever_ fucking _love,_ with his cock thrusting deep into the back end of this fucking chick. She was all tits and ass with her pussy spread out, meanwhile Ryan hunched right over her; their skin stuck to each other’s. Ryan’s _hands,_ his strong, but skinny and soft _hands_ were burying into her shoulders. They belonged to Brendon, he thought.

 

Although the sight riled him up, twisting his guts like nothing before, he couldn’t help but feel the soft, mellow sadness and melancholy ease into his stomach. It was then, Brendon realised, he truly did belong in the still, sad, serenity of heaven, rather than the rollercoaster carnival of the devil’s den.

 

“Ryan, why?” he whispered to the man whose cock was _still_ inside of the God damned girl.

 

“NO WHISPERING IN HELL,” bellowed a voice; source unknown.

 

“Clearly _somebody_ didn’t make it to the right party on time,” Ryan spoke with daggers. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got something right here I need to finish.”

 

“You have the whole of eternity. It can wait,” Brendon bit. After snapping, the stupid sadness swooped back into him.

 

Ryan pulled out of the blonde with a wet pop. She got out of her bending position and stood upright, now facing Ryan and pouting. “Go finish what we started babe, I don’t mind.” He winked and wiggled his fingers. A giggling eruption fell from the girl’s big lips as she strutted away, eventually disappearing.

 

Brendon’s heart clenched when Ryan turned to look Brendon in the eye.

 

“What the _fuck_ do you want?” Ryan asked.

 

“Not this; that’s for sure. My God, you’ve broken my fuckin’ heart, Ry. Don’t you understand?” Brendon’s eyes started to well up. He pursed his lips to try to hold it in.

 

“Oh, boo you. You know what I’ve learnt here? I’ve come to learn that you really, well and truly are fucking _boring_. I mean… anyway, what would you do if you were placed in a joint like this. A joint full of ecstasy, and sex. You’d take it.”

 

“Yeah, well I wasn’t put here, was I?” Brendon swallowed and slumped his shoulders.

 

“No. And that’s why I think you need to leave.”

 

“But leaving you will be the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do,” Brendon said, voice cracking. He looked up. Not yet. No crying yet. Don’t let this fucker take any more advantage of you, he thought to himself.

 

“Just fuck off already, man. Take a hint. Nobody wants you here.”

 

Brendon softly spoke, “Not even you?”

 

“Not. Even. Me.” Ryan flashed a warning through his eyes, doing nothing but cut deeper into Brendon’s gushing wound.

 

“Goodbye, Ryan,” he whispered.

 

Red faded into grey. Grey then faded into white. Brendon returned to heaven with a tear rolling down his cheek. You could see his pale skin right through the crystal droplet.

He trudged through heaven, sniffling and replacing every dried tear for a fresh one. Taking him by surprise, a man reached out to his face and wiped the tears. Brendon looked up and absorbed the details of the man’s face before his eyes flooded with tears. He fell into the mans arms, sobbing. He was beautiful. Why didn’t he find this guy, instead? Why didn’t he find a pretty man that was heaven-worthy while he had the chance on earth? Why did he tie himself to a man of infidelity and carelessness and pure sin?

 

The man smoothed Brendon’s back with his hand. The touch caught Brendon into a cobweb of more rushed cries. The man spoke quietly and softly, “Hey. Breathe. It’s okay to let it all out, but you need to breathe. You’re okay. Just take it slow.”

 

Doing as he was told, he took the man’s advice. He let the clouds fills his lungs and slowly exhaled them out again. When calmness found him again, he pulled away from the man’s embrace and said, “I’m so sorry.”

 

 “Hey, don’t be,” the man replied. “You looked like you were hurting and really needed a hug. Plus, you’re cute, so I definitely don’t mind,” he laughed. Brendon couldn’t help but blush and smile. “Anyways, my name’s Dallon Weekes. What’s yours?” he asked.

 

“Brendon Urie.”

 

“Hold on, let me just, um, get us something to sit on and we can talk.” Dallon looked into the empty space and a white sofa appeared. Brendon raised his eyebrows, slightly taken aback. “Neat, I know,” Dallon responded to Brendon’s obvious shock. They both took a seat with a comfortable space between them so they could communicate properly. Once they both settled in their seats, Dallon asked, “So, tell me, what was it that got your pretty face so soaking wet with sadness?”

 

Brendon smiled a little. He liked the way Dallon spoke. Let alone his charming looks, he even _sounded_ gorgeous. However, Brendon soon found his smile fade into a frown, once he thought out his reply. “My boyfriend and I were in a plane crash. That’s how we got—I got here.” He sighed. “Ryan didn’t make it,” Brendon began to explain. Dallon nodded for him to continue with a concerned look on his face for the boy beside him. Brendon sighed and continued, “So, I went to hell to try and find him-not even metaphorically speaking, either. I literally got God to let me go to hell to find him and stay with him. When I eventually found him, however, I was… unwelcome. God, I don’t even know if I can say what I saw…” Brendon swallowed.

 

“I think you should probably get it off your chest. It’ll make you feel better,” Dallon told him and gently placed his hand on Brendon’s knee.

 

Brendon closed his eyes and said, “I saw him having sex with some blonde girl. And… it… it broke my heart.” Brendon opened his eyes and continued, “I told him that it broke my heart too. I told him while he was still inside of her because he was too lazy to pull out straight away to talk to me. He thought he could just brush me off. He’s so shallow and I wish it wasn’t only _now_ that I’m realising this.”

 

“That sounds terrible. I’m really sorry. But hey, you’re here now and this place, I can assure you, is beautiful. It can be a bit bare, but with the right person, it’s… well… heaven.” Dallon laughed.

 

Brendon wasn’t sure whether he’d find the right person. The only long-term relationship he’d ever been in was with Ryan. Dallon did, however, seem absolutely charming. “Do you fancy telling me a bit about you and your story then?” Brendon asked hopefully.

 

“Sure.” Dallon smiled. “I grew up Mormon, so that explains why I’m in heaven, I guess. I died performing with my band at church in a shoot up. As you probably gathered, my band didn’t really take off, seeing as we were performing at the local church. That and the fact we all died.”

 

Brendon couldn’t resist his smirk at the last comment. “I was in a band too, actually,” he said.

 

“Oh, really? That’s cool. What band?”

 

“We were called Panic! At The Disco. We had one record out and it took off really well. It’s a shame no more of our material will ever see the light of day.”

 

“Wow. I’ve heard of your band’s name a few times, but never got the chance to listen. I guess now I can hear your voice whenever I want to now, hey?” Dallon smirked and nudged Brendon.

 

Brendon felt his stomach tingle and bit his lip in attempt to fight his growing feelings. He chuckled and blushed, trying so hard _not_ to that it only made it more obvious. Suddenly, he felt a soft hand graze the side of his face and held him close. He closed his eyes as Dallon closed the distance between their lips. Kissing Dallon wrapped him in a whole blanket of warmth and comfort that he’d never felt before. He truly felt safe for the first time in his life.

 

Dallon pulled back slowly and smiled. Brendon let loose and pulled Dallon right back into it. Eager and rushed kisses grew into Dallon mustering up a bed using his mind. God clearly granted his wishes.

 

Brendon crashed against the silky white sheets. As Dallon went to unbutton Brendon’s shirt, the boy’s breathing hitched. Dallon stopped and stepped back to ask, “Hey, what’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”

 

Nodding slowly, his lip quivered and his legs trembled. He so desperately didn’t want this to be happening right now. He wanted to be okay. He wanted to have a good time with Dallon, but haunting thoughts of earlier possessed his mind. Even when he closed his eyelids, the ghost of Ryan fucking the girl came to scream in his face.

 

Dallon took the troubled boy into his arms and lifted him onto the bed, laying him down on his side. He then proceeded to lay beside him and facing him. “Remember what I told you,” Dallon said whilst soothing Brendon’s arm, “you need to breathe and take it slow.”

 

Brendon found that following Dallon’s words was something he could take with an ease; it was like Dallon was the medicine in the cabinet that Brendon never knew he’d need until he swallowed it down and all his muscles relaxed.

 

“We can sit here and just cuddle and fall asleep together, if that’s what you want?” a voice wrapped in gold asked him.

 

“I’d like that.” Brendon smiled sadly. “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Dallon dismissed him sweetly. “I understand. Especially after what you fell witness to today.” Brendon was beyond flattered by Dallon’s indulgence in him, but he worried that maybe the tolerance was a short-term thing… something to allure him in that would wear off once he was wrapped up enough. However, he shook off the doubts and smiled instead, starting a new conversation.

 

“So… tell me more about your band. What was it called?” he asked.

 

“Um, well, we were not a very big thing, as I probably told you, but there were five of us, and we were called The Brobecks. We’d just got a new drummer, he had blue hair and he was a really cool guy. Too bad he joined when he did. Maybe he wouldn’t have died along with us.” Dallon and Brendon both bit back a laugh.

 

“Sounds cool…” Brendon said, still suppressing the laugh.

 

Luckily, Dallon knew not to ask Brendon about his band and remembered that his ex was _in_ his band. Instead, he asked a slightly safer question that he knew Brendon wouldn’t necessarily have to think about the main source of the current emotional whirlwind that was inside of him. He asked, “Where did you grow up?”

 

“Las Vegas, Nevada, baby,” Brendon replied and winked.

 

“Wow. And you’re in _heaven_?” Dallon joked, causing a knowing smile to appear on Brendon’s face. “Anyway… tell me what it was like.”

 

Brendon sighed and looked around as though the memories were collecting themselves in front of him. “Well, as you may have guessed, it was like _swimming_ in sin, but I had good religious parents that stopped me from getting swallowed up by it.” He paused. “God, I haven’t even thought about them yet! That’s awful!”

 

“No, honestly, it took me a while to even think about mine too. I think the same goes for everyone. It takes some while to adjust to the change, I’m sure you’ll agree.”

 

“True. So… do you know how long you’ve been here?” Brendon asked now that his mind was dancing over to a whole new array of thoughts and constructs.

 

“As far as I’m concerned, time doesn’t exist here, but you still get to sleep. I guess you could say it’s life without the crappy parts.”

 

“Well, sleep definitely isn’t a crappy part of life. And yes, that was my way of hinting that I’m seriously drained. Mind if I go to sleep?”

 

“Of course not. If you like sleep, you’re going to love me.”

 

“Maybe I will,” Brendon hummed. Maybe he was going to love Dallon.

 

*****

 

Brendon awoke in the beautiful wraps of Dallon’s arms. He took Dallon’s hand and untangled himself, resulting in waking the man up. He stirred awake and looked at Brendon. He was laughing. The thought just struck upon him, “Are you even allowed to have sex in heaven?” he asked.

 

Dallon sat up and gave an interested grin, definitely awake now. In fact, the most awake he’d ever felt in this whole dreamland. “Why yes, you are.” Dallon raised an eyebrow. “And is that what you want?” he asked.

 

“Oh my _Fuck_ , yes,” Brendon cried breathlessly and pushed through the crumpled sheets to straddle Dallon. They pulled their pure white clothes off until they were both just pale skin melting into each other with each desperate grind.

 

“You’re a bottom, aren’t you?” Dallon asked knowingly grinning between the flashes of pleasure.

 

“Definitely a bottom,” he confirmed.

 

“Perfect.”

 

Steadying the boy rocking against him, he firmly held Brendon’s hips and placed a finger inside. Brendon’s muscles initially clenched, but he soon relaxed into it and started grinding and softly groaning again. “Are we gonna use lube?” he asked, slightly apprehensive if what the answer might have been.

 

As Dallon was now growing a habit of doing so, he soothed Brendon’s woes saying, “Of course, angel. I’d never want it to hurt for you.”

 

Brendon shivered.

 

Dallon mustered up a bottle of lubricant with his mind and pulled his finger out of Brendon to open it. He poured it over his fingers and placed two back into the boy’s perfect ass. He used the other hand to cup it and squeeze it, driving Brendon to hump faster. “I’m ready, when you are,” Brendon managed between his increasing breaths.

 

Taking Brendon’s impatience (and his own) into consideration, Dallon decided enough was enough and that it was time they truly _met_. He used his hands to put a firm hold on Brendon’s hips. As the boy came to a stop, his heart rate did the complete contrary, speeding up by miles he thought he’d never reach.

 

Dallon decided to coat his cock in lube; he wanted this to be as pleasurable as possible for the two of them and to minimise all pain in the beautiful boy on his skin. Once he finished lubricating himself, he lined up against Brendon’s entrance and took a deep breath. If time existed in heaven, this would have felt like the longest that time had ever dragged. Finally, Dallon pushed in and all nerves intensified.

 

He pulled back and pushed in again, this time resulting in a moan from Urie’s lips. The sound drove him to continue, thrusting until they caught a pace. It was breathy, moany, slow, but indeniably desperate. It was everything but sinful. It was the most _right_ Brendon had ever felt. Dallon felt it too. God, did he feel it when he got that rush—when the tell-tale white stuff spilled out of him at the same time as Brendon.

 

Brendon’s relationship with Ryan was wrong, he learned. However, this thick golden thread between him and Dallon was the complete opposite. Laying, baked in the afterglow, eternity in heaven together ahead of them, that was right. That was exactly their fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Would like to thank a few lovely people on tumblr who beta read this before I finished it and gave me their thoughts in which motivated me to continue! So... shoutout to @kaitrex88 and @the-fandom-center.
> 
> -Nicole xx


End file.
